My Story
The first time I was sexually assaulted was January 2010. My friends and I threw a 6 person party and drank for the first time together.
The particular anti-depressant that I take has warnings not to drink alcohol, which I ignored of course. The reason for that turned out to be that it inhances the effects of alcohol and makes it last longer. I got drunk much faster than everyone else and it lasted longer as well.
One of our “chaperones” was my best friend’s older brother. He came up to me when I was cleaning up spilled beer and kissed me on the lips. He then told everyone to go to bed and took me to my own room and layed me down on the bed. He then proceeded to lay on top of me and stick his tongue in my mouth. I had never made out before and I remember all the thoughts in my head were just a huge jumble. I had no idea what to do, so I just froze and stared at the ceiling.
His hand began creeping up my shirt and he began rubbing and caressing my boobs. This made me extremely uncomfortable, but his tongue was still playing around in my mouth and I found myself unable to speak. His hand reached down my pants and he began to play with me. It was not pleasant at all for me, but I didn’t know how to tell him to stop. He stopped kissing me to ask me if I liked it. I had no idea what to say so I told him his hands were cold. He smiled and tried to kiss me again, but I pushed him away and told him I had to pee. When I got back to the room he took my hand and placed it on his crotch. I told him he had a boner and then he asked me if I wanted to see it. I told him I wanted to check up on my friend (who had been throwing up all night) and left. He asked me to come back in but I ignored him.
That was the first time though. It’s happened more than once.
~Shey
sending love, guys. please feel free to send us messages, vent, ask for advice… we’re here to support you.
emily xx
A lot of people have been asking us what’s rape and what’s sexual assault and asking what their situations are classified under. And to a certain extent, that means something, but for the most part: it doesn’t. What matters is that it happened and that you’re hurting, not what it’s called. Yes, it’s important when coming to terms with what happened but debating over the name isn’t going to get you anywhere. It’s a label, and at times those labels can be scary. I know at first I had a really hard time accepting the label “rape” and I still really do. It’s so much easier to brush it off sometimes… But even if you brush it off, the problems is still there.
There is no competition on “who had it worse” by whose classification seems worse. What matters is that it happened and what matters is how you feel.
Stay strong and take care, and feel free to send a message in the ask. <3
Emily xx
